Search Terms: Your Questions Answered!

Hey Ridinkuloids. Once again we’re going on vacation, so after our quarterly expense report posts on the first of October, we will be going into radio silence, or I guess “blog silence,” for a few weeks as we explore Japan.  It’s always good to recharge those blog batteries and save up ideas for more of the outstanding, award-winning content you’re accustomed to. And the best way to do that is with a vacation mostly paid for with frequent flyer miles and hotel points. Everything will be rocking out of control when we hit Japan.

People find Ridinkulous all different types of ways. Maybe you’ve clicked through while reading interviews with our dog Maeby or our corporate overlord demigod Gygax on other, more popular blogs. Maybe you’ve clicked through while reading one of the comments I leave scattered like little poops across the internet. Or maybe you’re my favorite type of reader, and you found us by using a search engine.

As an aside, Marge and I are fascinated by search terms. Do you remember when AOL… I was going to say “leaked,” but they just straight up uploaded billions of search terms people had used with the idea that someone could use it for academic studies? Their users’ names had been scrubbed, but other than that, they left all the search terms as-is, meaning you could figure out who a person was if they were giving away enough personal information in their searches.

It was a serious violation of privacy, but also a really intimate view of someone’s life.   Take a look at User 711391’s search history here to see how voyeuristically thrilling it is! Marge and I played these for comedy on a podcast we used to produce in 2006 (the golden age of podcasting). We would dramatically read people’s search terms as if it was their inadvertent autobiography.

We were contacted by a couple of Dutch filmmakers to be in some movie about the AOL search term debacle, specifically that very user 711391 who had seemed to put her whole life in search terms. Well, they never filmed us, but it looks like they ended up making the movie, called I Love Alaska. It’s more of an art project than a documentary.

Aaanyway, I just figured out how to use Google’s Webmaster Tools to show all of the search results that lead people to find Ridinkulous.net. There is some interesting stuff in there! Today we’re going to see how people get here, and I will try to answer the questions these searchers seem to asking

Ridinkulous Search Terms

Charles Osgood sick

I’ve written about our love for Charles Osgood and CBS Sunday Morning before, so I’m happy to tell you that, no, he’s not sick.

norm seinfeld

Aside from one instance when an actress accidentally referred to Newman as “Norman,” there was no character named Norm on Seinfeld. Of course, you might’ve been searching for our hit podcast Seinopsis and just couldn’t remember the name.

Bats flying around my house

We get a lot of visits from people either looking for information or commiseration on the bats in their house. We have had plenty of bats over the years, and this summer we finally dealt with them and banished them for good.

Ocean state job lot tarps

I’ve mentioned before that my favorite Black Friday ad was a flyer from Ocean State Job Lot advertising discounted tarps. I guess I’m not the only one in love with those tarps!  I’m glad you and I could be united, person searching for tarps. Coincidentally, I noticed mine has a rip in it, so I might soon be in the market for a new Ocean State Job Lot tarp!

max out 401k

Sometimes we even get search terms related to finances! Imagine that! Obviously this person landed on my epic 401(k) fee rant For The Love Of God, Don’t Max Out Your 401(k)! I hope they heeded my advice.

use a serving of poutine to find and defeat

Poutine is a delicious food, but this search make it sound it could double as a heat-seeking missile! Just wait until those bad guys get a face full of hot gravy! This is a deadly weapon sure to defeat any opponent.

spot the cat

Got me. I don’t know what the hell that means. Maybe it’s a game?

in part 1 of steve’s video, which shop does he visit that sells both shoes and coffee?

Tricky! Steve has visited many shoe/coffee shops. It could be either Soleful Brew, Beans & Toes, or Lacey Joe’s.  I do remember that Steve bought a pair of New Balance trainers and a large fair trade dark Columbian roast.

early retirement ideas

Travel more. Work on your music career. Build miniature houses for animals. Wear a mask and protest outside the Scientology building all day long. Read more books on your list. Learn how to make cheese. Walk all the way to Nunavut. Stare at a hotel concierge until they make you leave. That’s the great thing about early retirement. It’s Your Thing!

charles osgood retirement

No, he didn’t retire yet. So you check that off now as two good things. Charles Osgood is not sick nor did he retire.

how much did a house cost in 1900

One goat.

2600 tracfone

You might’ve been looking for more information on the cell phone that was the subject of my love song, The Hottest Cell Phone You Need To Own Right Now.

dude let’s hang out

Cool, man. Where do you want to go?

obscene food

Well, we have a series about food called Cost Per Serving, but I wouldn’t call any of it obscene. What were you trying to search for?

how much did napoleon dynamite cost to make?

That’s the weird thing. Napoleon Dynamite cost $215 million dollars to make, which is as much as Transformers: Age of Extinction. Idaho is the most expensive place in the world to film, Llamas eat $2,000 worth of food a day, and Jon Heder’s hair took 7 hours to style every day.

i went on vacation

So what? What are you, bragging?

chocolate babka seinfeld

I’ll admit, Seinfeld is the reason I started baking chocolate babkas. No shame in that.

did charles osgood retire

No! Someone else already asked me that! He’s not sick! He didn’t retire! Just…. Jesus!

how much does an 8000 btu air conditioner cost to run

Wow! Lucky for you, I have calculated that exact cost you are looking for. For us, it would cost $2.62 to run the air conditioner all day.

crustier

I don’t even want to know. Never visit my website again, freak.

cost of taxi from lima airport to miraflores

We get tons of searches for the price of traveling in Peru. This taxi ride in particular cost us $15.91.

day bare for deg

So that is the Norwegian translation of a romance novel written by Sylvia Day. So obviously, they ended up here….

What’s the weirdest way someone has found your website? What’s the weirdest thing in your search history?

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