In the personal finance blogosphere, we talk a lot about how adults can earn more money, cut their expenses and increase their nest egg. Well, what about kids? What are they supposed to do? So today’s entries is geared towards kids, and their most profitable time of year…
How You Can Earn and Save More Candy This Halloween
Tip #1: Just like saving for retirement, you need to Start Early.
I don’t mean start trick-or-treating on Halloween afternoon. I mean start five days ahead of time. Halloween is on a Saturday this year, and it is bound to be busy, so that is why it is absolutely imperative that you start on MONDAY. If you think that people won’t have candy, don’t worry. You might not know this, but stores start selling Halloween candy a month and a half in advance. YOUR NEIGHBORS ALREADY HAVE THAT CANDY.
I want you trick-or-treating every day leading up to Halloween. Here’s how you do it: Don’t repeat any neighborhoods. That way no one will catch on and you will cover a lot of ground, which will be important in Tip #2.
Either get your parents to drive you to a new place every day after school, or if they don’t want to do that, get off the school bus in a different neighborhood every day. (You will have to bring your costume with you and change on the bus to do this)
People might be surprised when they see you trick-or-treating almost a week in advance. When they come to the door, they probably won’t have any candy with them, and they might ask you why you’re trick-or-treating so early. That’s when you will give them one of these three stories. You can use these verbatim:
- “My brother is very sick. He’s at a hospital in (NAME THE LARGEST CITY IN YOUR STATE). We are visiting him this weekend and I wanted to bring him some candy because he won’t be able to go trick-or-treating himself.”
- “My grandpa died in Canada and mommy and daddy say I need to be a big (BOY or GIRL) and go to the funeral there. But they said I could trick-or-treat beforehand.”
- “I have to go to a camp for special kids that day.” (Don’t get any more specific than this)
Tip #2 – Remember which houses had the best candy
Hey Ridinkuloids. Once again we’re going on vacation, so after our quarterly expense report posts on the first of October, we will be going into radio silence, or I guess “blog silence,” for a few weeks as we explore Japan. It’s always good to recharge those blog batteries and save up ideas for more of the outstanding, award-winning content you’re accustomed to. And the best way to do that is with a vacation mostly paid for with frequent flyer miles and hotel points. Everything will be rocking out of control when we hit Japan.
People find Ridinkulous all different types of ways. Maybe you’ve clicked through while reading interviews with our dog Maeby or our corporate overlord demigod Gygax on other, more popular blogs. Maybe you’ve clicked through while reading one of the comments I leave scattered like little poops across the internet. Or maybe you’re my favorite type of reader, and you found us by using a search engine.
As an aside, Marge and I are fascinated by search terms. Do you remember when AOL… I was going to say “leaked,” but they just straight up uploaded billions of search terms people had used with the idea that someone could use it for academic studies? Their users’ names had been scrubbed, but other than that, they left all the search terms as-is, meaning you could figure out who a person was if they were giving away enough personal information in their searches.
It was a serious violation of privacy, but also a really intimate view of someone’s life. Take a look at User 711391’s search history here to see how voyeuristically thrilling it is! Marge and I played these for comedy on a podcast we used to produce in 2006 (the golden age of podcasting). We would dramatically read people’s search terms as if it was their inadvertent autobiography.
We were contacted by a couple of Dutch filmmakers to be in some movie about the AOL search term debacle, specifically that very user 711391 who had seemed to put her whole life in search terms. Well, they never filmed us, but it looks like they ended up making the movie, called I Love Alaska. It’s more of an art project than a documentary.
Aaanyway, I just figured out how to use Google’s Webmaster Tools to show all of the search results that lead people to find Ridinkulous.net. There is some interesting stuff in there! Today we’re going to see how people get here, and I will try to answer the questions these searchers seem to asking
What’s up guys? Welcome to Gadget Crave. Today I’m gonna rap at ya about the newest cell phone on the market (as of 11 years ago) and definitely the hottest phone you’ll hold in your hands all year. Of course, I’m talking about the Nokia 2600!
We got our hands on a test model before it goes to market. Lucky us. This is a thing of beauty! Nokia has really outdone themselves this time. The industrial design just screams, “Pick me up and play with me!”
Just look at those sexy curves. Seriously, a lot of thought went into the design here. The plastic casing is finely molded and feels perfect in the hand. The buttons are placed in exactly the right place so that your thumb can hit them every time without fail.
The screen is one of the biggest we’ve ever seen. At 128 x 128 pixels, it can handle just about anything you want to throw at it. And do you think we’re going to give it all we got in this review? Uh, yeah, duhhhh!
You are going to be shocked by how light this thing is: 3.3 ounces! With something that light, you could just toss it in your pocket. After all, that’s where the phone goes! Then, when someone calls you, it can either ring, or you can set it on “Vibrate” mode, which creates a buzzing sound that’s actually louder than the normal ring, making sure that you never miss a call.
Don’t believe me? Check out this video!
But we can’t judge a book by its cover! Let’s take a look at what this pretty little thing can do.
When I talked about fun things to do in the winter to keep your brain happy, I mentioned, somewhat sarcastically, shoveling all of the snow in existence. I don’t know if someone out there took me at my word or what, but I came home from work last week to find this in our backyard:
Ladies and gentlemen, that is an 8 foot mountain of snow nonchalantly dropped in our backyard, as if it was a vacant lot! And not just snow, but snow and garbage!
My first thought, obviously, was that the city did this. They have been doing their darndest to keep the streets cleaned, and there are supposed to be official places to dump the excess snow: Parks, parking lots, vacant lots. On Wednesday, they plowed our street. So naturally, I imagined some numbskull thought he could get away with taking a shortcut and dumping everything in our yard.
If we owned a huge property, this wouldn’t matter. Heck, I regularly shrug off having to shovel the sidewalks once the plowdrivers inevitably ruin my beautiful sidewalk work. But we only have a 25×100 foot lot! And with extensive patio work planned for this spring, I can’t sacrifice this huge plot of land to Snow Mountain! We all know what’s going to happen. This would melt and re-freeze and not disappear until July!
What the fuuuuck!
If you see a mountain, climb it. Pose by Norm, illustration by Marge
It’s Wintertime, and the living isn’t easy. During January and February around here, it doesn’t get above freezing most days. Snow and ice come down, and you do your best to move it, but it’s not going to disappear. The melting that does happen only seems to create gigantic killer icicles hanging from your roof.
We usually manage to accumulate enough ice on an awning to create a big ice dam. One year, it broke off and destroyed the wood stairs to our back door! The ice dam smashed the stairs to bits! On the down side, that caused a few months of jumping from the porch to the ground. On the plus side, that spring I got a nice lesson in building steps! Although, the supplies cost a good $30 (treads plus wood to make stringers), and I would’ve rather the steps not have been destroyed in the first place.
Winter is one of the reasons why I started taking the bus instead of driving. Winter means work around here! It means your furnace or boiler has to work harder, and you have to pay it more money! It means you have to work shoveling the snow! (Unless you push a snowblower around like a dip) And work builds character, right? Well, that’s all well and good, but it still sucks.
The days are shorter and if you spend your days in an office, you’re hardly ever going to see the sunlight. It’s maddening. But I decided to try to make the best of it. There are ways to look at this forecast, lift your head up and say, “Oh, that’s not so bad.”