I don’t expect you to understand this, but I shall tell you anyway.

I was brought into existence on the planet Vrontar in the Zedron solarplex 6 million lightyears from your Earth by Drada the God of the Night and Hverda the Enslaver of the Damned.  These beings rejected me and threw my body into Sintar, the River of Fire.  I was saved and subsequently raised by the 12-headed wolf beast Ulan and his clan of shape-shifting hellbeasts in Drednought, the Great Forest Where No Light Shines.  The evil Drada and Hverda then conquered the Seven Realms of Time and Space over 100 galaxies.

After 60 thousand Earth years, I prepared to leave the Great Forest and take my revenge. I rode the great beast Ulan to the royal fortress during a banquet procession, where we entered dressed as a poor farmer with his sheep.  Due to their customs, the king and queen must allow beggars to enter grand banquets. I hid until nightfall and then assassinated the war orc guarding the tower.  I rode Ulan up the tower into the bedchamber of Drada and Hverda. I beheaded the king and queen while they slept and led my pack of hell beasts to reclaim the interplanetary kingdom due to me.

Now my gaze turns to Earth.  Humans,  when you witness my wrath you shall beg to become my slaves. I expect nothing less than your total surrender.

– Gygax the Malevolent




OK, if you’re still reading this, you deserve to know the truth. We are Norm and Marge (not our real names), and we are a DINK couple.  I’ll be writing about mostly personal finance with lots of analysis of the little things, DIY projects, travel, and just generally how to get the most enjoyment out of your money by using it more awesomely.

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  1. Ah shame! I thought I’d finally found a blog for the outlet of the great mind that is Gygax the Malevolent! 🙂

  2. That’s the best about page I’ve ever read. Hilarious!

  3. This is the coolest “about us” I’ve seen to date. Love it!
    Good luck to you Norm and Marge. Will be following your guys along.

  4. How do you rack up so many airline miles? Do you travel a lot for work? Do you use airline cards? If so, which cards do you use? What kind of purchases do you make with these cards to get the miles (purchases outside the norm; as in, can I pay my mortgage with the card every month then pay the credit balance immediately after).

    My research shows the “Barclaycard Arrival Plus” as a good option. Have you heard of it?

    • Norm

      March 23, 2017 at 10:24 pm

      Basically we sign up for credit cards. I have a blog post showing all of the cards we’ve been approved for, and what the bonuses were. I should update it since it only goes through November 2015, but we are still signing up for credit cards today. After getting so many cards, they’ll stop approving you for some of them based on different rules (Chase’s 5 cards in 24 months rule, Amex’s once-per-lifetime bonus rule). I love American Airlines miles since they’ve been really useful and not too hard to get approved for.


      I used to pay our car or student loans on Chargesmart if I needed to hit a minimum spending requirement, but now those are paid off and I don’t do anything special with spending. That means I have to be careful that we can meet the spending requirement on new cards before their time limit is up. Our mortgage company isn’t on Chargesmart so I don’t think I can pay that with a credit card.

      The Barclay Arrival card is great, and I’d definitely sign up for it if the bonus is 50,000 points. That one has offset a lot of our hotel costs.

  5. Great site. I’ve never stumbled across it before. thanks for commenting on my blog so I could find you. I’ll be a regular reader. I just added you to my blogroll as well. Have a great day!

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